Healing through the Holidays

AUTHOR: Jackie Naginey Hook

EMAIL: jackie@jackiehook.com

 PHONE: 814-404-0546

AGENCY: Koch Funeral Home

ARTICLE:

When I was a kid, Thanksgiving meant going with my dad and siblings to the family farm in the small town of Naginey, Pennsylvania, outside of Lewistown. As you might be able to guess by my maiden name – Naginey -- my family has a lot of history there.

While mom stayed home in State College and prepared the Thanksgiving meal, Dad took us to the – and I apologize in advance to anyone this might offend – annual pig butchering. This was a social event with many people present and lots of work going on, especially cutting the meat and beginning the curing and smoking processes of the ham and bacon. I was young, so I mainly watched with fascination at all the activity, not to mention I clearly recall all the different organs being placed on a table for later distribution.

After returning home from the farm, Dad carved the turkey and we enjoyed mom’s delicious meal. In more recent years, my parents came to our house for Thanksgiving and Dad passed the carving responsibilities onto me.

Back again to my younger days, after Thanksgiving our family focused on Christmas. Mom did most of the decorating and gift gathering, while Dad made sure our tree wouldn’t fall down. In his later years, he wrote the holiday letter and made sure everyone in the family received a generous check. Dad and I shared an appreciation for the family get-togethers, as well as the messages of gratitude and love from the holidays, but neither of us bought into the hype. We both were likened to Scrooge at different times in our lives.

Since my dad’s death on March 12, 2024, this is the first time he won’t be here for the holiday season. Over the next few weeks, my family and I will talk about our plans, come up with options, and then decide what feels right for us. We’ll probably incorporate traditions, and maybe do some things differently too. I’m anticipating both laughter and tears as we feel the gratitude for having had Dad in our lives, and also the grief that he is no longer present to feel our shared connections.

In that vein, I’m grateful to have Healing through the Holidays, a safe place to have conversations about ways to navigate this challenging time of year. In conjunction with Juniper at Brookline, Brenda Oyler Kim, MSW, LCSW, and I will facilitate these Healing through the Holidays gatherings on the following Tuesdays: November 26th, and December 3rd, 10th, and 17th. They are from 4:30 - 6:00 PM at 1950 Cliffside Drive, State College. For more information, please visit the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page of the Koch Funeral Home website, www.kochfuneralhome.com.

Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant, and end-of-life doula. She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College.  For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit www.kochfuneralhome.com